27th of August-
Sas’s condition seems to be stable she’s a little quieter than yesterday but I think that she, at least, is comforted by the close body contact that I have been giving her. At times she seems to even perk up a little
I am hopeful that the new formula will make a big difference!
I feel so terribly responsible for her for Christ’s sake I killed her mother-I have been playing the event over and over in my mind and I know that it was unavoidableSarah also has been assuring me that it couldn’t be helped but none of these things makes it better as I look down at this delicate little life cupped in my hands. Somehow in the shortest space of time, I have fallen deeply in love with little Sas.
When I look at her, all the same, protective feelings that I had for my newborn son come welling back up all overridden by a desperate sense of the hopelessness of the situation I feel so dreadfully helpless.
You might say “hey it’s only a little joey” and judging by the carcasses we’ve seen, hundreds die on the Queensland roads every week. This dear little creature captured my heart
At about 8:35pm she died in my hands the only comfort I could give her was the sound of my heartbeat as she lay against my chest. She died the same way as my mother, fighting to the very end. there was nothing I can do to help to show strength and soft words.
I realise that every life is a precious as the next. When it comes down to it we are all the same all the same.
We drove out of Normanton the next morning and headed on to Karumba. The little town lies right on the Gulf and was going to be our first real glimpse of the Indian Ocean. We arrived at Karumba after an hours drive- gusty, quite deserted, this stark collection of houses and caravans did not majorly impress either of us perhaps Sas’s death made it difficult for us to see Karumba through less critical eyes.
The day glistened with an air of melancholy. No matter where we turned, the events of the last 12 hours, Sas’s death, the heat, the guilt- all combining to take their nasty toll. We drove out along Karumba point and found a rocky hill overlooking the Ocean. I dug a grave, placed her tiny body gently down and filled it over, we set about decorating it.
We buried Sas- the dear swamp wallaby in solemn silence- missing her little chirps and squeaks.
We sat down at the large open-aired pub on the edge of the ocean and contemplated it all. We both decided it was time to move on and just leave this part of the trip behind.